elevators

My morning routine consists of a quick self check out in the mirror...sometimes you need a boast if you're gonna start the day before noon and the undeniable confirmation of seeing just how hot my bod is, usually does the trick (don't act like you've never done it). Knowing full well that people do this, Deutsche Bank cleverly installed mirrors in every elevator at my building. You smile at the security guard, flash your ID card, walk into the elevator, and BAM there you are, in all your glory and your first reaction is uhgg...im ugly. I've yet to encounter a light that's made me look dark, but I've never before encountered one that makes me look dead. Even my freckles look pale and to make matters worse, my hair has zero shine. Like none. I've never been bothered by the level of lusciousness of my locks (mostly because they are quite luscious), but I look like a flat, dead animal was plastered to my scalp. It's not flattering. Moreover, you would think that Germans all of people would be sympathetic to the struggles of the pale man. Or, maybe the reason for such unattractive lighting is to make people realize that no, they can't be a trophy wife, better work hard today.