Children

I don't know why this subset of the population is so attracted to me, but I don't like it and I don't handle it well. Take for example, my experience at the Chicago airport (yes, it was apparently necessary to fly from NC to Chicago to Philadelphia to Frankfurt): I was seated by my gate, waiting for my plane to come, when a small 3-4 year-old boy sitting behind me, kept popping his head up over the seat and giggling at me. Every time I would turn around, he would duck behind the seat and giggle even more. When he sensed that I had turned back around, he would creepily pop his head up over the seat again. This was cute for about two minutes, before it got to the point where I didn't really know what to do other than to keep turning around (I mean, I couldn't ignore him, that would be mean…). Anyways, 20 minutes later I had a crick in my neck and feeling more than just a little bit awkward. Eventually the situation was resolved by his mother, who told him to cut it out.

Needless to say, the awkwardness of these kinds of situations is exponentially increased in a foreign land. Not only is the line between social appropriateness and creepiness a little blurred or shifted from the average American lifestyle, but the language barrier makes it hard to explain yourself when you cross said line.

In one of my more embarrassing moments (this is saying a lot…*cough* top five *cough*…), I was walking home from work last summer (this was in Germany too, so I figured I could reference here…) the better part of a Turkish family was walking in the opposite direction as me on the sidewalk. The mother was pushing a 1-2 year old in a stroller while her 7ish year-old daughter walked in front of her. As I approached the family, the daughter stuck out her hand, palm facing me…a 4+ year friendship with Lang has taught me that any such gesture should be instantly recognized as an invitation to high five. Excited about how a high five was about to bridge two cultures, I too extended my hand for a high five. However, this aspect of American culture has not quite made its rounds around the globe, and the girl instantly pulled her hand away. I will never forget the disapproving look that mother gave me.

Just in case you missed it: I got rejected for a high five. From a 7 year old.

Other instances of small foreign children judging me: I was in the elevator last week and said something in English to a co-worker. A 2 year old typically blond German boy giggled incessantly and said, "sie ist lustig" (she's funny). To which his mother replied, "ja, sie ist lustig." I feel so welcomed here.

Anyways, the whole point of this post was to talk about my experience on the train on the way home from work tonight. I was sitting across from yet another Turkish family; the parents had a girl 2-3, and another child, gender unclear, 6 - 12 months. Not only did both (read it: both) kids stare at me for about 80% of the 20-minute train ride, but so did the mother (and not in the "oh hey, you're sitting across from me kinda way", definitely more of the "why are you looking at me" kinda way…). The little girl would stare at me, push her half-dissolved food out of her mouth and let it dribble/fall down her shirt and on to the floor, and then scream. That's the reaction she had when she looked at me.